Solitary or Solidary
“In the middle Jonas had merely written in very small letters a word that could be made out, but without any certainty as to whether it should be read solitary or solidary.” ALBERT CAMUS · THE ARTIST AT WORK
We are two hundred days into the year, and Camus gives us a small puzzle that holds the whole month inside it. In his story The Artist at Work, a painter named Jonas has worn himself out trying to satisfy everyone, all the friends and admirers who crowd his life. At last he shuts himself away in a little loft and works in secret. When he collapses from exhaustion, his friend climbs up and finds the canvas nearly blank. In the middle is a single word, written so small no one can quite read it. It might say solitary. It might say solidary.
In French the two words differ by one letter. Solitaire and solidaire. Alone, or bound to others. Camus leaves the word deliberately illegible because he wants us to feel that the choice is never fully settled. We spend our lives leaning one way and then the other, needing solitude to become ourselves, needing others to keep from disappearing.
This is not a problem to solve once and be done with. It is a tension to live inside, honestly. Too much solitude and you dry up. Too much solidarity and you vanish into the crowd. The art is in the balance, and the balance keeps moving.
Today, ask which word your life has been overwriting lately. If you have been too solitary, reach toward someone. If you have been lost in others, take an hour that is only yours.
